Yesterday a strange thing happened. I was posting some comments on the Amazon Discussion Boards when I saw a discussion that someone had started in the romance forum about things found in novels that were so horrifying that they caused you to stop reading the book. I admit I was intrigued by this and started reading some of the posts. Several people brought up various novels in which rape, emotional degradation, physical and sexual abuse of the heroine were part of the story. I was aware that back in the 1970s when the “bodice-rippers” hit the book shelves that rape was a popular theme but I wasn't aware it was still going on. One person wrote that she was even more shocked by reviewers of these books who made comments about the rape scenes being “hot” and she, rightfully, asked what does rape have to do with romance?
I was interested in this and, after skimming some more comments in which people talked about a number of books that were filled with gratuitous (“gratuitous” being the operative word) rape and sexual humiliation. A couple of people brought up Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty books. I read half of one of those and was sick to my stomach – it is page after page after page of women being sexually degraded and humiliated.
So, I made a post asking what people thought was the reason for these books appealing to some people. I mentioned that I'd been told that these books were cathartic for women who had been sexually abused and raped but that I found that hard to believe and I wondered, in my post, why people were reluctant to talk about the appeal of books of this sort. Boy, did I ignite a firestorm! Apparently people who like “rape-romance” do NOT want anyone suggesting that there might be something kind of strange about that. I got hammered from all sides! I was told I was being judgmental that I was a snob, that I was trying to psycho-analyze, on and on and on. I was called a “troll” and told I was “elegantly baiting” (I was trying to reply politely and not insult anyone). Finally, I was accused of trying to covertly “shill” my own books by asking why these women were so defensive of romance books about rape.
It got so intense and some of the rhetoric got so inflammatory, that I bowed out of the discussion, and erased my previous posts before somebody had a nervous breakdown. Even after I was gone a few of them continued to discuss my motives and one person asked why I just couldn't leave “us” alone. “Us” presumably being people who liked reading about women being raped (romantically, of course.) I have to admit I was very shaken up by the venom that was being spewed.
After I'd left the discussion and gone outside for awhile to clear my head I had a thought – rape is a crime, no matter how the authors of these rape-romances justify it within the story. What if the same story was being told about the “hero” raping a teenage boy instead of a girl? Both are crimes, isn't reading about them as a form of entertainment equally questionable? Would these rabid defenders of rape-romance be as eager to defend the stories if they were about boys being raped? I doubt it.
One of the posters took the position that it wasn't the rape that the women loved reading about but rather that the heroines triumphed over the rape. But if that is true why would a reviewer say that a rape scene was “hot”? And why did some of my attackers say they enjoyed those books? (I'm not talking about stories in which a crime serves the story, I repeat that "gratuitous" is the operative word.)
I'm the first to acknowledge that there is a whole underworld of erotic “alternatives” out there that I just don't understand and I take no issue with the people who pursue them as long as they are conducted within the letter of the law. But rape isn't. Torture isn't. Sexual abuse and humiliation isn't. If these books glorified other crimes – dealing drugs, committing murder, pedophilia, as a “kink” that lead the hero and heroine to a HEA romance novel ending, would that be defensible?
To be fair, the majority of the posters avoided the subject and talked about other things they found horrifying -- like torture and graphic scenes of gore. But there is one significant distinction -- in mysteries/thrillers/etc. where crimes are graphically described, there is an expectation that the crime will be solved and the criminal will be punished. But in rape-romance there is a huge difference -- the rapist winds up with the girl (who falls in love with him after he violates her). The crime is thus made acceptable.
I've learned my lesson. I'm not going to get into any more discussions like that. But it's left me shaken about there ever being an end to the sexual abuse and abasement of women if that many people are willing to regard rape-romances as something people like me are sick and twisted for questioning. This isn't good.
I've learned my lesson. I'm not going to get into any more discussions like that. But it's left me shaken about there ever being an end to the sexual abuse and abasement of women if that many people are willing to regard rape-romances as something people like me are sick and twisted for questioning. This isn't good.
Thanks for reading.
11 comments:
Well, I certainly found THIS blog to be hot.
Just kidding.
What you ran into was people getting defensive about their tastes. Their enjoyment in reading these books blinded them to the fact that they were publicly "enjoying" a violent criminal act, and when somebody pointed this out they were suddenly confronted with the knowledge that their reading preferences were out there for all to see. That can be a pretty jolting realization.
So, it becomes attack the messenger while in defensive mode, which is silly. If one enjoys reading such material, that's their right. If it embarrasses them to do so, don't mention it in public. If you do mention it in public, be prepared for a comment because publicly stated material invites comment. That's just common sense.
I've had EXACTLY that experience and on the same forum in a different thread. I have run into a few cases of rape in m/m romance but it tends to be treated far less as "romantic" where the rapist gets the guy.
The people who defend it say that rape as romance is merely fantasy that has no effect outside the novel. I say it encourages women to believe that abuse is the norm.
But say that on one of the Romance forums and you're likely to need a flame-retardant suit.
I'm certainly not in favor of censoring these stories but I wonder if the people who write them realize it perpetuates the myth that "no" means "yes" with many women. I realize there are women who get turned on by rape games and they are welcome to them but it totally creeps me out that some twisted potential rapists could be reading these things and thinking "yeah, those women really want it despite what they say."
If a "romance" story was written about a pedophile would his crime be forgiven if the girl fell in love with him when she was old enough? Sick stuff.
It seems we aren't that far removed from 20 years ago, when the all time "hot" soap opera couple was a teenager and her rapist (remember Luke and Laura?). I prefer to believe that there are folks that enjoy the idea of being "forced" to participate, but don't recognize that to others being forced to anything is, as you say, no = yes syndrome. And aren'ta ble to translate the fantasy to the real life implications. Not a fan of the "no,no, oh" reads myself.
"And aren't able to translate the fantasy to the real life implications."
I think that's the crux of the matter.
What an interesting post Kathleen! That's quite a response you got, I have to say I'm mystified by it. By all appearances you asked an honest question and you got attacked because of it.
I agree with Tess though, I think the erotic thing about situations like that to some people is the loss of control. I believe they are confused on a lot of levels though, if they honestly think a rape scene is "hot." There is a world of difference between the illusion of force and rape. Hell, there's a whole galaxy of difference there.
I deal with some pretty disturbing scenes in my writing, including rape. As you mentioned, it is a powerful and terrible event to deal with, and I think the beauty of the human spirit shows in its ability to overcome the monstrous. I don't ever use evocative descriptions though, the way I would in a sex scene because I don't think a rape should be portrayed that way.
On the other end of the spectrum, I think sometimes we put too much emphasis on keeping things squeaky clean. Some people thrive on contests of will that would seem very much to others like force, but truly aren't forced. That can be beautiful too.
Anyway, thank you for the thought-provoking post! :)
Coral, I also deal with tough stuff in some of my books -- violence and sexual abuse -- but it is within the context of serving the story. It is certainly not meant to be "hot". But, like J.R., I was flabbergasted by the nastiness and hostility of these women and the wild, almost frightening accusations. I couldn't wait to get out of there!
I did check back on the thread a little while ago and now they are comparing notes on eating chocolate so that is much safer, I hope.
I think that some people's taste is just different naturally. I am recently 18 and while I still have Sarah Dessen on my bookshelf, books like Lovely Bones and Sold took my interest early on--I want to say around freshman year of high school. I love the Sleeping Beauty books, as well as books such as The Psychology of Gang Rape, and Living Dead Girl (a kidnapped middle schooler made to be a sex slave and stay young by waxing and starving). Would I ever want to be raped? No. Would I wish it on someone else? Never. But would I read about it? Yes. Would I watch it? Absolutely. For me, I like to play with the idea of having a man overpower me. But then again, I would like to be tied to my bed with a sock stuffed in my mouth too. You hear about "freaks" and masochists all the time. For many people, rape is a sexual fantasy they have for themselves, so the opportunity to indulge in the text form of that fantasy is appreciated.
I don't feel that you are a snob or that you insulted me or my tastes with your comments at all. I think people see differently and they always will. You look at rape and say why would I, as a smart young woman, support rape erotica and I look at you and ask why you're a sucker for the type of romance most people never have? In some ways, the rape novels are closer to reality than the romance ones.
Anyway, my point is, your appreciation for the novel can likely be directly connected to your sexual preferences. If you dig the candles, roses, slow music and the idea of handcuffs appalls you rape novels probably aren't for you. But if you're like me and you say f*ing instead of making love, bite, lick, and don't mind a few bruises as battle scars of a great lay, then you should look into the forced romance scene.
Rape novels allows the reader to look into the mind of a women with a rape fantasy.
I think that some ppl forget that this is fiction and take it too literally. Like omg she just got raped and now she's falling for the guy omg erred the cops! In real life no woman willingly falls in love with her rapist. These are books and stories wemon read and fantasize about. Yes some aren't. To my taste but whatever. I do agree that rape fantasies correlate with real life sexual abuse. That's my fantasy and I've been a victim when I was a kid. But honestly if it turns u on go for it lol( just remember the safe word)
My biggest issue with rape and abuse fantasies is that they send the message "this is what women really want" and a lot of men use that to justify rape and sexual abuse. Having been in the unfortunate position of knowing a man who thought that way, I can tell you those kinds of books are red meat to twisted individuals. Women who get off on rape and abuse fantasies justify it by saying "it's just a fantasy" but it's not just a fantasy to the woman (or girl) who becomes the victim of someone who reads these books like instruction manuals.
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