Wednesday, August 12, 2009

You Can't Fix Stupid, Part II

I've received so many emails about my blog the other day about the Stupid Epidemic that I decided to write more. Among the many symptoms of A.S.S. (Acquired Stupidity Syndrome) are the beliefs held by people who have come to be known as “birthers” and “deathers”. These A.S.S.es have become something of a media laughing stock but they are also totally and completely committed to their A.S.S.inine beliefs and have no intention of changing them.


Last night Rachel Maddow reported one of the most mind-boggling birther stories I've heard so far. In case you don't know what a birther is (where have you been?), birthers believe that President Barack Obama can't be President because he is not an American citizen. They claim he was born in Africa even though Snopes posted his birth certificate from Hawaii online over a year ago. Recently there was a vastly entertaining birther hoax when an unidentified blogger (those crazy bloggers) forged a fake Kenyan birth certificate so loaded with obvious mistakes that anyone but an A.S.S. would chuckle. It was “discovered” by Orly Taitz, possibly the craziest person I've ever heard tell of, who got into a fight with MSNBC's David Shuster resulting in a few moments of genuine insanity.


But back to Maddow... According to her report over three-quarters of Republicans in North Carolina still don't believe or are undecided that the President is an American citizen. And 8% of them have come up with a really unique conclusion to justify their birther belief --- they don't believe or they doubt that Hawaii is part of the United States. So there.


How can you argue with that? These A.S.S.es have decided well, okay, maybe Barack Obama wasn't born in Africa, and was actually born in Hawaii BUT since they have decided Hawaii is not part of the US of A, he still doesn't qualify.


On the other end of the A.S.S. spectrum are the “deathers”. These are the A.S.S.es who believe that the President's health care reforms will result in “death panels” which will determine whether Gramps and Granny, as well as people with various handicaps, are going to be allowed to live.


Now let me say that I really like John McCain and have said for years that the biggest mistake the Republican party ever made was not choosing him to run for President in 2000. Think what a different world we would live in had he been at the helm on Sept. 11, 2001. That being said, I don't know if I can ever forgive him for foisting Sarah Palin upon the American public. Klondike Barbie, the Killa from Wasilla, is chief among the deathers.


I will concede that Palin is probably not an A.S.S. Like Orly Taitz, I don't think there is anything acquired about her stupidity. But the A.S.S.es across the country have taken her Facebook posts to their bosoms and are screaming their lungs out at town meetings across the country, generally acting like the A.S.S.es that they are and doing their best to destroy civil discourse.


All things considered I guess we just have to accept that the A.S.S.es are here to stay. When someone asked White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs if anything could be done to convince the birthers that the President is a citizen he replied, simply, “No. The God's honest truth is nothing will assuage them.” And that's the truth about all the A.S.S.es. They've chosen their beliefs and no evidence to the contrary will make them change. They'd rather make complete jackA.S.S.es of themselves than learn something.


So, all we can do is keep our minds and hearts open, hold to the truth, and hope that a vaccine will be developed that will cure A.S.S. But, of course, that would mean Big Pharma would have to get involved and we all know what eliminating stupidity would do to them. Don't hold your breath...

The Orly Taitz Remix.....





Thanks for reading.

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